I sat nervously in the seat opposite Corporal Leo Smith and his wife, Alicia. I had deliberately chosen not to wear make-up and I had scrapped my dark blonde hair into a bun, a stern nana bun.
I wore a sensible cream shirt and navy trousers; complete with a crease in the front, just to add to the conservative look. I finished the outfit off with flat ballet pumps. If this look did not sell reliable and boring, then nothing would. I was twenty-two years old but bizarrely felt at least thirty in this get up. It’s strange how clothes can change your whole persona and mood. I found myself able to portray an image and character new to me; an inner hidden self I guess, the older future me, maybe? Or maybe not!
I sat with my hands clasped, serene-like and I smiled at Leo and Alicia.
“So, Rebecca, tell me what experience you have with children.” The barrage of questions kept coming. “What is your philosophy around children having boundaries? How would you feel about travelling and moving around?”
“As the advert stated, Rebecca, (Leo looked at the resume in front of him, flicking his eyes up occasionally, analysing and scrutinizing my qualifications and no doubt wondering if I was being truthful. I actually wasn’t but what the hell; everybody lies on CV’s don’t they?), the job would be almost an immediate start. Would this be a problem for you?”
“No, sir.” What the actual fuck! Did I just call him sir? I blush and look at the floor, unable to meet his eyes.
“I could start today if necessary.”
The sooner the better for me, I thought.
“Olivia is nine years old and she is very mature for her age. She is also exceptionally bright. I take it you would be able to help her with homework.” It was a statement, not a question. “Yes, of course, that wouldn’t be a problem. As you can see on my resume, I have four A-levels so I am more than qualified.” (Cue mammoth lie. I’d have to search the web for books to help little Miss Mensa because I was undeniably stupid at Math and no doubt I’d be accountable if her grades dropped).
“And you would have no reservations about moving to Germany? Paderborn to be exact. How would you feel about learning another language?”
I swallowed and prepared my best speech. “I would see it as an amazing opportunity to learn a new language, and of course, Olivia would come first. I would help her settle into school, and I would find out what activities were available in the area for her. Socializing will be the key to her feeling settled. I would be eager to take German night classes with Olivia to help us both integrate a little more.”
I felt proud of my mature professional response, but they gave nothing away.
Leo sat in Corporal mode, all serious and stern-like, while Alicia sat with her hands folded on her lap, a fixed face that feigned solidarity with her husband, but I detected sadness behind her beige-coloured eyelids. Eyelids that sparkled to hide the emptiness I saw whenever she fixed her gaze on me. She allowed Leo to do all of the talking and looked to him for permission to speak. Clearly his army training extended beyond the barracks. He seemed like a douche bag, full of himself with an air of authority that shouted arsehole fairly loudly. He was good looking in a sharp-featured way, but Alicia was pretty, really pretty actually for an older woman. She wore the kind of clothes that someone a decade older would wear though; boring and conservative, a little like me today. It made me wonder if she chose to dress like that or if the Corporal had issued an order.
I jumped as Leo suddenly rose from his chair, aware that I had been caught out daydreaming when I should have been more focused. I hoped that I hadn’t missed any questions. I had a terrible habit of getting lost inside my own head, riding the thoughts like a surfer rides the waves, getting carried along with a multitude of possible scenarios and outcomes.
“We’ll be back in a minute, Rebecca, I just need to confer with my wife and make a few phone calls.”
“Of course, Mr Smith.” He looked at me with those beady eyes, clearly preferring it when I called him sir.
Excuse me while I confer with my wife! Confer! Did he seriously speak like this all of the time?
After what felt like a lifetime, the door opened and they walked in, a brisk no messing around kind of walk. Alicia was smiling but her eyes remained sad, and Leo was wearing his poker face and those eyes of his were simply unnerving. The way he looked without blinking, weighing me up, and making me feel like he was aware of my real persona hidden beneath the womanly clothes.
“We’d like to offer you the job. It will be on a three-month trial, and if we’re happy with how things are going, you’ll be offered the permanent position. How does that sound?” He barked the job offer out of his firm mouth and I flinched, aware that I may find living with Scary Smith, well, quite scary if I’m honest! He really was an intimidating man and I understood why Alicia said so little.
I had changed my name on my resume to Rebecca. I’d always loved the versatility of the name. Rebecca sounded so proper, but Bex sounded like so much fun. It was like having a dual me. I could be serious and sensible Rebecca at work, and crazy fun Bex when I wasn’t around the old bores. I was impressed that I’d thought to change my name from Dani, or should I say, Daniella Thompson-White. What a fucking mouthful. It was so embarrassing sitting in the dentists or doctors and hearing someone call out a double-barrelled name; my name!
Just on the off chance that Luke tracked me down, I’d thought on my feet for once and decided upon a name change. It was so easy to change the name on my resume and white out the name on an old resume belonging to a previous nanny who had worked for the same family that I had once worked for. I knew the first family I’d put down for a reference would highly recommend Rebecca, because she had actually existed, and was I ever sick of hearing how fantastic she was! Well, as pissed off as I’d been at the time, it had definitely worked in my favour now because Leo had called them and they had nothing but glowing reports.
“That’s amazing, thank you.” I beamed, genuinely happy. “You have no idea what this means!” and I prayed that they would never know what it really did mean.
To me, it meant that I could finally get away before Luke returned home.
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