I had thought about Luke all day today and I knew that I had to face the music at some stage. My hands were shaking as I slipped my old sim card back into my phone, so I poured myself a large glass of wine, which I gulped down in seconds to steady my nerves.
There were fifty-two missed calls and fifty-one of them were from Luke and I had over forty-one text messages from him. It had only been five days since I left home, and I knew I was in big trouble.
I felt my heart flutter and a rush of adrenaline forced its way into my body, coursing through me at lightning speed, causing me to shudder and reach for a jacket in a bid to smother the icy liquid that was invading my veins.
I dialled my voicemail and listened to the first message:
Dani, what the fuck are you playing at? I came home to a fucking grass carpet and a stench of rotten fish. Your note doesn’t even make sense because I haven’t cheated on you. You can replace this carpet, you crazy little bitch! Ring me within an hour or I’m coming over.
The messages continued with a similar theme before he adopted a change in mood and tone, and my heart soared with the hope that I could pack my bags and fly back home, and everything would work out between us.
Please come home, Dani. I miss you so stop fucking around and just come back. I’ve been to your apartment and I have no idea where you’re hiding out but I’ll be back tomorrow.
I allowed my pent-up tears to spill over my cheeks as I thought of being close to him. The thought of kissing him and falling under his spell and losing all sense of time when I was lying in his arms and making ridiculously big plans for our future. I knew dealing drugs was bad, but I was convinced that I could get him away from that world. I never knew much about who he sold drugs for, and I had certainly not met any of his druggy friends, well, not that I was aware of anyway. I guess I had an image in my head of what a drug dealer would look like, one of the real players, not Luke who just sold a little bit here and there. I imagined someone with swag and gold teeth. Someone who drove a flash car and maybe even had a driver. My Lukey wasn’t like them. He was kind and caring and he loved me like no one else had; except for my father, of course.
I kept on listening and, despite being pissed off that I wasn’t returning calls and the fact that he couldn’t find me, Luke seemed desperate for me to return, however, that soon changed when he realized that I’d messed with his drugs.
You fucking stupid bitch! What the fuck did you think you were doing? I want the drugs back and I want them back today. Do you realize what you’ve done? Do you have any idea what kind of shit I’m in now? What kind of shit you’re in! You’re going to pay for this, Dani, so last chance to stop fucking around. This isn’t a warning it’s a threat. Ring me or come to my apartment within the hour or I’m sending someone out to look for you. Dumb fucking stupid bitch!
I sat frozen and, for the first time in my life, I actually felt an overwhelming sense of fear for my safety.
I didn’t know what to do and I had no one to call that I could trust enough not to blow me in to the police. I also had no idea just how far Luke would go to find me, and if I told someone the story, then they would become involved, and I didn’t want to place anyone in that position. Not that anyone would care either way. My friendships were fickle because I’d preferred it that way. Associates were easier to manage than friends. I’d tried the whole serious friendship best buddy thing when I was younger and they always started off well, but once people saw where I lived and realized that we had money, a lot of money, they became all bitchy and jealous. I’d been happy with daddy and Elanor, the housekeeper. She would always sneak me a biscuit at bedtime while mother was ranting about calorie intake and sugar rotting teeth, and she would ask me about school and ruffle the top of my hair and tell me that I was ‘a little treasure’.
After my father died, I went to school, came home and went to my room and cried, trapped in a robotic-like living grief. Elanor always checked on me, most likely because my mother never did. I had often sent her emails as a way of sharing things with her and I would tell her who my friends were at school or which boy I was crushing on.
My mind was racing as I tried to compose myself. I must have sat frozen for at least twenty minutes before I decided to call him. I’d worked it through in my head and all I needed to do was explain that I acted in anger and I’d pay him back for the drugs and then everything would be fine.
The phone only rang once when he picked up. There was silence at the other end but I could feel the anger and hatred penetrating through the airwaves.
“Luke,” I said hesitantly, softly, afraid to speak too loud. I was sure he would hear my heart hammering in my chest, skipping beats as my mind ran videos of several different conversations we could potentially have.
“So, you’ve finally picked the fucking phone up. Now where the fuck are you and where the FUCK are my drugs, Dani?”
“I. I’m so sorry I never meant to do that but I saw you with fucking Titiana draped all over you and I was devastated and so angry. How could you cheat on me, Luke? I’m sorry about the drugs OK.” I start to cry, gulping and sobbing like an out of control four-year-old, emotion washing over me, leaving me breathless and floundering.
“I don’t care about your fucking sob story so stop your snivelling and tell me where you put my drugs. This is not the kind of shit you mess around with.”
“I flushed them down the toilet but I’ll pay you back.” The words flew out of my mouth that fast I thought that he wouldn’t hear me.
“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?” He screamed. “Where are you? I’m coming over. As for paying me back, you naïve spoilt little fuck, do you have a spare eighty-five-thousand pound lying around?”
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